


sometimes you need a little help

by e_is_better_than_a (orphan_account)



Series: tumblr asks [7]
Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: Comfort/Angst, Other, Trans Brian May
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:28:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21619918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/e_is_better_than_a
Summary: anon ask: The boys comforting Brian after someone tells him he is not a real man because he is trans
Relationships: John Deacon & Brian May & Freddie Mercury & Roger Taylor
Series: tumblr asks [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1558126
Kudos: 33





	sometimes you need a little help

It wasn’t like it was a secret, but Brian had hoped that the press would have found out after they had a little more credibility to the name Queen. Obviously their management knew and had promised to keep it extremely confidential, mostly for their own selfish purposes but it had offered a sort of protection that was difficult to find. But when the headline for the music section in the London newspaper read “QUEEN GUITARIST ISN’T A REAL MAN?”, the world came crashing down.

The curly-haired man was sure that he ruined Queen. Who in their right minds would allow them to play? Even within the gay community, people had a problem with people like Brian. It was 1974 and Killer Queen was doing so well but he was sure sales were about to cut off.

The phone had been ringing every hour or so during the day. The record company, his parents, friends and no doubt random transphobes that had found the flat number. Brian stayed shut inside his room, hardly eating, only opening the door for toast, water and sometimes tea. It was always made a little different; always the way he liked, but it was clear that they were taking turns. That only made him feel worse. Knowing that his best mates were taking turns taking care of him. The black hole in his chest expanded, but instead of pulling things in, it just filled him with self-hatred. He was sitting in the dark while Roger, John, and Freddie dealt with the press.

After three days of self-pity, hatred, and wallowing, he opened the door at 10 am. It was a Sunday and the first thing he saw was John looking tired as he watched the kettle. Roger and Freddie’s shoes were gone, as well as their jackets.

“They went grocery shopping.” Brian turned to the younger man, his eyes kind and soft but exhausted. John brought over two cups of tea over to their too-small table. Brian sat next to him and huffed. The harsh morning light bounced around the kitchen and it made the taller man want to curl up again.

Instead, Brian took a long sip of tea, attempting to let it warm him from the inside out but it didn’t work. He just felt liquid go down, no warm, fuzzy feeling that usually comes with a cup of tea which just made Brian feel worse. The simplest pleasures were taken for now and he wasn’t sure when they’d come back, if ever. A small frown took over the older man’s features, lost in thought over whether or not he would feel that soft, warm tea feeling again.

“Brimi, I know you know this, but you can always talk to us, you know?” John murmured, playing with the handle of his cup. His whole body position was one of tired stiffness almost. That selfish feeling bubbled up inside him again, reminding the curly-haired man that he was the reason the younger felt this way.

“I know,” His voice was hardly above a whisper. “I just don’t know what to say.” He felt himself start to choke up and became annoyed. He had spent the last three days crying, how many tears could he possibly have left?

Immediately, a warm hand was on top of his on the table. John’s thumb gently ran over his knuckles as he spoke. “Let me rephrase. It’s okay to cry on us and rely on us to help you. You’re one of the strongest men I know but you do not have to do this alone. We’re a family, Bri. So please,” The younger’s eyes were filled with desperation while the other man’s eyes filled with tears (much to his dissatisfaction). “Please let us help you.”

Their heart-to-heart was cut short due to the phone ringing. It cut through John’s soft voice, causing Brian to jump. But John simply got up and answered. The other man tuned out the conversation, watching the still of the kitchen. It was dirtier than before but that was because he always cleaned the counters since the others found it tedious and unnecessary. 

Down the hall, he heard the front door open but made no move to turn. Part of him wanted to scurry back to his safe place but a larger part forced him to stay. Two pairs of footsteps made their way to him and he felt John’s eyes on him, watching him to see if he would stay.

A soft hand landed on top of his head and curled into a fist, crunching his curls. It was a thing that Freddie, and _only Freddie_ , did as a show of affection. He started doing it years ago when they first formed Queen and they were drunk beyond blackout. The shorter man just plopped his hand in his hair and started petting it and Brian couldn’t find it in him to complain so he just closed his eyes.

“Brimi!” Roger exclaimed, followed by a hush and glare from John, still on the phone. The blond rolled his eyes, sitting down in the chair closest to the phone and then was smacked upside the head by the youngest man. The drummer turned to say something but the other’s quirked eyebrow and challenging smirk caused the words to die in his throat.

“We have nothing to do today, loves, so let’s just have a movie day, yeah? We haven’t had one in ages and I think it would do us some good,” Freddie didn’t leave any room for arguing. Back before they had record deals and a management team, just playing in bars and pubs, they would have little movie nights or days where they would sit on the couch and cuddle. It was perfect, especially when John needed to take a break from studying around finals and the ideal way to catch up after holidays apart. In the middle of one of those days, Brian came out to Freddie and John during Snow White.

It was obvious what Freddie was doing. Trying to do things inside the apartment that have positive connotations to help him out. It was touching. So with the faintest ghost of a smile, Brian rose from his chair. He stretched, arms above his head, back arching a little bit then slumping down again and walking towards the couch. Roger zipped in front of him to their collection of movies before pulling out Dumbo. Brian rolled his eyes at the pick. It had always been one of Roger’s favorite movies. The taller man settled in the middle of the couch, pulling their softest blanket around his front, the blond quickly snuggling in next to him.

On the other side, John cuddled up, head resting on the curly-haired man’s shoulder.

“What was the call about?” Brian asked, afraid of the answer.

“Management. They’ve been calling every day to see how you are. And also just a general check-in and at-home to-do list.” He responded, shrugging. Brian’s heart started beating a little bit quicker, waiting for one of the others to scold him for forcing them to stay home and fall behind on whatever work was thrown their way. But it never came.

All that happened was that Freddie came in with Brian’s cup of tea he left and he slotted the movie in and hit play. He handed Brian the cup with a small smile.

“You forgot. Seemed like a waste to just dump it,” He said, settling in next to John. Brian’s heart fluttered. His friends really did love him. He took a sip as the movie started, finally feeling warm and fuzzy inside again.

(And maybe he fell asleep halfway through the movie after he finished his cup. Just maybe.)


End file.
